I am pretty effing bored right now. Sitting here at work, emailing people. la la la
So yeah Im pretty pissed at this guy Im with. He keeps acting like a total asshole and its really starting to make me mad. I still wanna be with him. No doubt about that but MOTHER FUCK gimmie a break kid. I dunno its hard to explain and I really dont want to go into it right now. Its just fucking stupid. I think I have Posion Ivy on my neck. Dont ask me how the fuck I got it there. I was diggin up weedds the other day. I might have touched some and scratched my neck or something. I dunno but it itches and I think Ive scracthed off the first layer of skin. Not for real, just kidding haha.
These 2 nerds came into the office today, omfg I almost laughed my ass off. They had lil vests on and they were all tucked in. They were friends of Jim's and they all started talking in weird Star Wars language. Yeah whatever. gayness for sure.
For those of you who know who Daniel Keyser is, or for those of yall who have heard me talk about him. He claims he quit doing drugs and is clean now. Good for him right. haha lets see how long his bitch ass stays clean. Chris is back from Bradford. Well actually he has been back for a while, I just never wrote about it. He got kicked out to be honest. How the hell do you get kicked out of a drug rehab center? Amazing He broke a light-bulb and cut his wrists. Then he got pissed one day and broke a coffee pot over his head. He needs serious help and he wont ever get it because he hates himself too much.
Its only 1:30pm and I dont get off until 5 or 5:30. So that is like 4 hours. sweet. Hope I get to play Halo tonight. Hope Opie doesnt turn fagish on me like he always does. Im so sick of fighting with him. Its fucking chaos and it needs to just STOP and everything needs to go back to the way it was. I have alot on my mind but everytime I try to talk to him, its like he doesnt even care. He needs to get the non-talking stick out of his ass before I jam the bitch so far up there it will come through his mouth :D lol
Life has been so hard lately. Ive had so much drama the past month.. I know I scared alot of people with my last post. Sorry. Im not going to explain the situation because I dont feel like I should have to.
So yeah whatever...Im still alive.
Bleh...Im addicted to Halo2 and all that XBOX LIVE jazz...
People are so heartless here in this hole of a state. I hate it.
Im honestly on the verge of moving back to NC. The more I think about it, the better it sounds. I was so much happier when I lived there. My dad always pissed me off but I dunno...my step-mom actually gives a fuck about me. And here...I get pissed on.
blah blah blah you all know the story...my life sucks. i cry too much. i complain all the time. wah wah wah booo fucking hooo
I didn't mean it When I said I didn't love you so I should have held on tight I never should've let you go I didn't know nothing I was stupid I was foolish I was lying to myself I could not fathom that I would ever Be without your love Never imagined I'd be Sitting here beside myself
'Cause I didn't know you 'Cause I didn't know me But I thought I knew everything I never felt The feeling that I'm feeling now Now that I don't Hear your voice Or have your touch and kiss your lips Cause I don't have a choice Oh, what I wouldn't give To have you lying by my side We belong together
[Chorus:] When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough Who's gonna talk to me on the phone Till the sun comes up Who's gonna take your place There ain't nobody there We belong together
I can't sleep at night When you are on my mind Bobby Womack's on the radio Singing to me 'If you think you're lonely now' Wait a minute This is too deep, too deep I gotta change the station So I turn the dial Trying to catch a break And then I hear Babyface I only think of you And it's breaking my heart I'm trying to keep it together But I'm falling apart I'm feeling all out of my element I'm throwing things Crying Trying to figure out Where the hell I went wrong The pain reflected in this song Ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside I need you Need you back in my life baby
[Repeat chorus] When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough Who's gonna talk to me on the phone Till the sun comes up Who's gonna take your place Baby nobody else We belong together
always iinnocent: i fucking hate him. I HATE HIM totallytotti16: ryan always iinnocent: yeah always iinnocent: he has been on the dilly talking to other girls always iinnocent: he claims he is too busy to talk to me always iinnocent: and too busy to come see me always iinnocent: BUT HE CAN GET ON AND TALK TO OTHER GOD DAMN GIRLS totallytotti16: dump him always iinnocent: i cant always iinnocent: im too weak always iinnocent: cause i love him always iinnocent: ill let his fuck me over till he ends it always iinnocent: im a fucked up person totallytotti16: no dont live like that totallytotti16: its not healthy totallytotti16: who is he on the dilly always iinnocent: the_ren totallytotti16: WHy would you put ur self threw this totallytotti16: u dont need this in ur life...its not healthy for u always iinnocent: and for the first time in my life...ive hated being blonde always iinnocent: cause he doesnt like blondes totallytotti16: oh my gosh always iinnocent: here lately ive wanted nothing more than to change myself always iinnocent: i want to dye my hair black always iinnocent: and go get something pierced because he likes it totallytotti16: oh dont do that cause of him always iinnocent: i just want him to love me the way i love him always iinnocent: and i dont know what to do to make him happy always iinnocent: i feel so stupid totallytotti16: dont worry about him he treats u like shit always iinnocent: this just started though always iinnocent: ever since i went to his house always iinnocent: he used to be crazy about me totallytotti16: yah i know always iinnocent: i heard him say I LOVE YOU 13 million times a day always iinnocent: i havent heard it in a week...or more always iinnocent: i dunno totallytotti16: it is not good always iinnocent: i havent talked to him since last thursday always iinnocent: except on the internet the other day always iinnocent: which ended up in crying always iinnocent: thats all i do now...is cry because im so confused and have no idea what to do
why dont you love me like you used to? why do you treat me like a worn shoe? fuck it.
Happy 420 everyone...I dont smoke but for those of yall that do...smoke a bowl for me <3
I honestly think that all men are fucking retards. I dont understand them. I dont get how they go around not considering anyones feelings but their own. I dont understand how they completely disregard that youre hurting. I dont understand how they say "I LOVE YOU" and then not care that the person they love is in pain. I dont understand when you say "I wont get to see you" and they say "I dunno what to tell ya" I dont understand how you dont feel horrid when you dont get to talk to the person you care so much about..or at least claim to care so much about.
There is a shit load I dont understand...and Im sure nobody gives a flying fuck about how I feel and what I dont understand.
Im just sick of being confused and REALLY sick of crying wondering wtf tomorrow holds, wondering IF I'll get to talk to him....even though I know the truth. The truth being, I wont get to talk to him.
I havent heard him say "I love you" in at least a week. I dont even think he loves me anymore. I dont think anyone in this world has ever said "I love you" and meant it. What did I do wrong this time?? I cant even think of ANYTHING! When his friend told me I was smothering him, I stayed in the office away from him until he went to bed. 3 days I did this. I stayed away from him to make him happy. What does it take to make someone happy these days? Ive racked my brain wondering how, HOW CAN I MAKE THIS GUY HAPPY?!?!
I hate being sappy like this. I hate it. I feel weak and stupid for being so emotional. So Im going to quit. Its not like anyone reads how hopeless my life is anyway...
How it works: 1) Give your cell phone number to your friends list. 2) Don't answer any calls that you don't recognize, allowing your friends to leave you messages. 3) If your friends list is game, they will leave hilarious messages, jokes, songs and riddles in your voice mail, and some will make you guess who they are by giving hints. The secret is to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE unless you recognize the number.
fill this out n post it under comments then i'll do the same for you :)
1. Who are you? - 2. Are we friends? - 3. When and how did we meet? - 4. Do you have a crush on me? - 5. Would you kiss me? - 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. - 7. Describe me in one word. - 8. What was your first impression? - 9. Do you still think that way about me now? - 10. What reminds you of me? - 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? - 12. How well do you know me? - 13. When's the last time you saw me? - 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? - 15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you? -
Im fucking bored. And getting yelled at by everyone in the world. neat. Im exhausted. I went to bed this morning at 7. And had to be up at 10. It was rough. So Im about to fall out in the floor. My eyes are like half closed...I look high as fuck. you can imagine.
So Im just sittin here listenin to a hockey game on the internet. SPHL.. wooo We won tonight as well <3 bout fucking time.
I wanna run away and never come back to this place or these people
the only people id miss is Mom Brianna Brenda Lindsay Keyser 1 & 2